You're kicking my butt today, little one! Normally I can make it past lunch time before I feel like I need a nap. But today the fatigue started kicking in before lunch. I feel incredibly unfocused too. Not a good combo while I'm at work. Hopefully this doesn't get a lot worse, or I don't know how I'll ever get any work done!
My symptoms still tend to be on the light side, and pretty much the same ones as before. Still no real morning sickness (just a few times where my tummy has felt slightly "off"). I know I shouldn't complain because that could start up any day now.
I'm anxiously awaiting our first doctor's appointment, in 12 days. It has really struck me in the last few days how little control I have over what's going on with you inside me. Obviously, there are some things I can do (and not do) to help... but for the most part you're growing and changing and turning into a little baby all on your own. It's hard for me, since I'm so used to being in control of things. I thrive on information, and hate being kept in the dark about stuff. But that's just what I'm dealing with here. You may be nestled deep inside my belly, but I can't see you or touch you or hear you. Most of the time I don't even feel pregnant -- although, I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to feel like either.
For the most part, right now, I just want to hear your little heart beat (it should be formed and beating now), and maybe (hopefully!) see you on an ultrasound. I just want to know that everything, so far, is developing normally. It's hard to accept that if something were to go wrong, there's really nothing I can do to stop it or know about it in advance so I can "prepare". I have been wanting you for such a long time, and I don't want anything to jeopardize that. It's a true exercise in patience, faith and accepting that so much in life is firmly out of my control. But, I imagine those are good traits to strengthen and develop for parenthood!
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