We've got the beat!

Our first prenatal appointment was today, with Dr. Pham-Thomas. Daddy came with me, and we both got to see you!

You're measuring right on target, at 7 weeks and 3 days, and the doctor confirmed your due date as July 13th. We got to see you, and the yolk sac, and your little heart beating at a healthy 167 beats per minute!

At Mommy's request, Daddy also captured you on film for the first time. You can see your heart beating nice and strong.

It's such a relief to have that confirmation that everything looks good so far! Hopefully it will help ease some of that anxiety I've been feeling the last few weeks, where I had no clue what was going on in there, and if everything was okay. I still have no control over how you're developing, and I'll have to wait awhile before I get to see you again. But I have something tangible (the ultrasound photos and the video) to hang onto in the meantime.

Hooray!!!

7 weeks

7 weeks today! Symptoms have still been fairly mild. I've had a few days of feeling kind of "icky", and some soreness returning to my breasts, and I still get fatigued by mid day (particularly when I'm at work). But, overall I feel pretty good.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. We spent it at Grandma Margaret's, with my dad's side of the family. I brought mashed sweet potatoes with a brown sugar pecan crust. They were a hit! I definitely ate too much, and by the end of the evening I had a good sized food baby. It made me feel kind of icky later in the evening though, so I guess I'll have to take it easy for the rest of the holiday season.

Monday we have our first prenatal appointment. I'm really hoping we get to see you or hear your heartbeat. But I'm not really sure what to expect at this point.

blueberries

The books I've been reading have you at roughly the size of a blueberry now -- you're growing up so fast! Your little hands and feet and elbows should be forming. I wonder if you'll have my thumbs... I have something called brachydactyly type D (aka "clubbed thumbs"), which causes my thumbs to be short and wide at the tip. My thumbs also bend 90 degrees backward, with little effort, which I'm not sure is directly related to the clubbed thumb thing. Apparently it's an inherited, dominant trait, so you just might!

6 weeks

We've reached 6 weeks today! Your tiny heart should be beating inside me now, and your little eyes, ears, mouth, and your arm and leg buds should be forming now -- I wonder who you're going to take after? I hope you get daddy's lips and his gorgeous, long eyelashes. Mommy's eye color would certainly be nice (although I'm not holding my breath).

We also hope you inherit my immune system. Daddy is pretty sick right now with a bad cold that started when we got back from Texas. Daddy tends to get sick with some frequency and ease, whereas I rarely do. I always joke that it's probably because daddy is such a germaphobe, and I go around licking doorknobs have a bit more "carefree" attitude and thus have likely gotten small dose exposures to things over time that have allowed my immune system to learn how to fight it without actually making me sick. Who knows -- maybe by the time you're reading this science will have figured this stuff out and you'll be laughing at my silly, antiquated hypothesis.

sprinkles

You should be roughly the size of sprinkle on an ice cream cone. Hmm... maybe I should have some frozen yogurt with a few sprinkles to celebrate! Frozen yogurt does have calcium, after all, and that's good for you and me both.

I love you, my little sprinkle monster. I hope you're warm and snug and growing nicely!

Is it nap time yet?

You're kicking my butt today, little one! Normally I can make it past lunch time before I feel like I need a nap. But today the fatigue started kicking in before lunch. I feel incredibly unfocused too. Not a good combo while I'm at work. Hopefully this doesn't get a lot worse, or I don't know how I'll ever get any work done!

My symptoms still tend to be on the light side, and pretty much the same ones as before. Still no real morning sickness (just a few times where my tummy has felt slightly "off"). I know I shouldn't complain because that could start up any day now.

I'm anxiously awaiting our first doctor's appointment, in 12 days. It has really struck me in the last few days how little control I have over what's going on with you inside me. Obviously, there are some things I can do (and not do) to help... but for the most part you're growing and changing and turning into a little baby all on your own. It's hard for me, since I'm so used to being in control of things. I thrive on information, and hate being kept in the dark about stuff. But that's just what I'm dealing with here. You may be nestled deep inside my belly, but I can't see you or touch you or hear you. Most of the time I don't even feel pregnant -- although, I'm not exactly sure what that's supposed to feel like either.

For the most part, right now, I just want to hear your little heart beat (it should be formed and beating now), and maybe (hopefully!) see you on an ultrasound. I just want to know that everything, so far, is developing normally. It's hard to accept that if something were to go wrong, there's really nothing I can do to stop it or know about it in advance so I can "prepare". I have been wanting you for such a long time, and I don't want anything to jeopardize that. It's a true exercise in patience, faith and accepting that so much in life is firmly out of my control. But, I imagine those are good traits to strengthen and develop for parenthood!

5 weeks

Yesterday marked 5 weeks (3 since you were conceived). No picture this time since it's still too early to have a belly. You're roughly the size of a sesame or apple seed now, your spine,  brain and circulatory system should be formed, and your heart just about to start beating (if it hasn't already).

sesame seeds

You also took your first trip (and first journey out of California) yesterday. Daddy and I flew to Austin, Texas to attend the wedding of our friends Janae and Phil. Janae was one of my bridesmaids. She's the last of my bridesmaids to get married (the other two were married last year).

Today also marks the 14 year anniversary of when me and daddy started dating. We were seniors in high school (at different schools), and only 17 years old. So young!

Daddy and I "met" about a year earlier on a BBS (which was essentially a pre-internet message board that was run off of someone's personal computer; users dialed in using a modem to connect and post). Daddy and I talked a little on there, but when the board we met on closed down, we temporarily lost touch. I was also active on my friend Dan's board, and daddy decided to log on there to see if he could find me. We started chatting again, and a few months later we began talking on the phone.

Over the next few months, we developed a close friendship, and finally met in person on August 8, 1997. Daddy came out to meet me at a bus stop near the doctor's office I was working at. We began hanging out every weekend, and secretly developing feelings for each other.

On November 8, we shared our first kiss. It wasn't planned or expected, but it was magical! It took us a few days to make it official though, so that's why November 12 became our dating anniversary.

Just chugging along

Hi baby,

We're about 4 weeks and 5 days today. Some of my symptoms have actually decreased a bit since last week. Part of me has a bit of anxiety about it -- could it mean something is wrong? Should symptoms be getting worse? Why haven't I had any morning sickness yet (or am I being a turkey for complaining about not having morning sickness)?

It's all so overwhelming, and new, and scary. I couldn't be more excited about having you on board. But, it's strange that I don't really "feel pregnant". I have some symptoms (missed period, sore breasts, constipation, gassiness, bloating, a couple of skin breakouts, and my hair is a little greasier). But many of them are mild. Again, I probably shouldn't complain!

I also met a nice woman on the train this morning that's due about a week or so before me. It was nice to chat with someone about being pregnant, especially since she's only about 10 days ahead of me.

4 weeks

Happy 4 week birth conception day!

Yes, your mom is a dork. Embrace it. She'll be embarrassing you with her goofiness for years to come. You'll grow to love it one day!

Here are a couple of pictures of me at the 4 week mark. Obviously, I'm not showing yet (that's just my food baby).

You are currently about the size of a poppy seed. So itty bitty, but you're rapidly growing and will soon have mommy bursting at the seams.

poppy seeds

Here's a fun little questionnaire I found on another blog, that I'm stealing to use here:

How far along? 4 weeks

Maternity clothes? I have two maternity dresses (including the black one I'm wearing in the picture above), and I bought two BeBands. Otherwise, I don't need to wear any yet.

Stretch marks? Just the ones I already had.

Sleep: Good. Not surprising considering how fatigued I've been throughout the day.

Best moment this week: Finding out I was pregnant with you! In fact, that was the best moment of the year!

Miss Anything? Turkey sandwiches and blue cheese.

Movement: None. Too early.

Food cravings: No real cravings. Although I did want a juicy hamburger for dinner last night.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Fortunately nothing yet!

Have you started to show yet: Nope. Just the aforementioned "food baby"!

Gender: No clue.

Labor Signs: Waaaay too early

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!

Looking forward to: Our first prenatal appointment on November 28th. I'm hoping we get to see you and hear your heartbeat!

Great Grandpa

Hi baby,

Last night we went to visit your Great Grandpa Howard (my dad's dad). Great Grandpa is 91, and we just learned on Friday that he has Lymphoma. Unfortunately it's spreading too quickly, plus his kidneys are failing, his chest is filling up with fluids, and he can't eat. So, yesterday they sent him home with a hospice care worker.

Daddy and I went over to Great Grandpa and Great Grandma's house to spend time with him and the rest of the family. Lots of people were there: Great Grandma Margaret, Great Uncle Paul, Great Aunt Melinda, Great Uncle Loren, Uncle Andy, Cousin Kayla, Cousin Lily, Cousin Jason and Cousin Scott (I think they'd both be first cousin's once removed for you), Scott's wife Shauna, and their kids Second Cousin Abby and Second Cousin Emery.

Great Grandpa is on morphine right now, to ease his pain, so he's in and out of consciousness -- mostly in a semi-unconscious state where he appears to be sleeping, but if you talk to him he can hear and respond (with communicative noises, like you you'd make a noise to say "mm-hmm"/yes). A couple of times he's woken up long enough to have small conversations (with real words), but it doesn't last long, and usually the family comes running when he does.

So, at one point when I was standing by his bedside alone (the rest of the family was busy descending on the pizza that had just arrived), holding his hand, I bent over to whisper in his ear. I asked if he could hear me and he made a "yes" noise. So I told him that he had to keep it a secret (in case he wakes up and decides to spill to Great Grandma), but that daddy and I are pregnant. He immediately made this soft, happy sound, and squeezed my hand. 

I'm so glad we got to tell him.

I wish you would have had a chance to meet him. He was such a great man, and lived a very full life. I'm going to miss him very much.